Personalized Care for Pastor’s Wives & Ministry Professionals

Consultations, Coaching, & Therapy Intensives

In person in Chicago; Online, worldwide

Story is how we create meaning and make sense of the world. As Christians, we believe the gospel transforms our reality, essentially re-storying us.

But, because we still live in a broken world, stress and trauma can sometimes overwhelm our systems (emotional, physical, spiritual) and cause us to forget this deeper and truer story. We can believe the truth of it, but not feel the reality of it, our bodies stuck, fighting a threat that is no longer real with our nervous system staying on high alert, not allowing us to trust the truest story.

Coming from a long lineage of pastors and married to one for the past 30 years, I know how hard it is to continue in ministry, while navigating the instability, pain and heart ache of unhealed trauma and broken relationships. I’d love to help you let go of your false stories and step into the reality of your truer story.

Your story matters.

You may be feeling…

Anxious and overwhelmed, stuck in a cycle of constant alert and never able to experience rest or calm
Frustrated that you can’t convince your heart of what your mind knows to be true.
Exhausted by the expectations of others.
Triggered by church itself because of past trauma that has never healed. And, uncertain that change is possible since its been years and you still can’t move past what happened.
Disconnected from yourself and others; deeply lonely, and longing to start over.

“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” (John 1:5)

Hi! I’m Jennifer.

You are worthy of gentle compassion and expert care.

Combining expertise as a trauma specialist and relationship therapist with decades of experience in church leadership, my current work focuses on the post-traumatic growth and wellbeing of pastor’s wives and ministry professionals.

I am passionate about God’s amazing design for healing trauma and integrate a variety of therapeutic methods that facilitate our brain’s natural capacity for memory reconsolidation, helping clients to transform their relationships (with God, themselves, church, and others), rediscover authentic joy and trust a truer story.

I live in the suburbs of Chicago with my pastor husband, our dog Emmi, and occasionally our sons (3 young men who are making their way in the world and kindly grace us with their presence now and then).

Learn more about me

Specializing in helping Christian leaders let go of who they “should be” and lean into who they truly are.

Trauma is less about what happened and more about how what happened has affected your nervous system. And, healing a traumatized system, requires knowing how to access the deeper brain to convince it, experientially, that it is now safe; the previous danger has passed and it is now okay to rest. A felt experience of safety allows a person’s system to let go of the false stories that have been supporting unwanted thoughts, feelings and behaviors and instead to view life from a clearer vantage point (think reaching the top of a mountain and the clouds clearing and be able to finally see).
I integrate a variety of gentle and powerful healing modalities, in the context of a coaching relationship, to facilitate this renewed clarity and experience of safety. I will walk alongside you in your healing process, creating the necessary context and space in which you can heal. David Grand, the founder of Brainspotting (one of my favorite healing methods) famously says, “We are traumatized apart but we heal together.” And this is so true. Part of what causes a system to “break” due to trauma is the experience of being totally alone in it. And so healing best takes place in the context of a relationship with someone who knows how to be with and walk alongside in a very specific way. It is my great joy and privilege to do this work.
Burnout and compassion fatigue, within ministry, is common and often quietly suffered, pastor’s wives and others feeling ashamed of this experience of not caring anymore. This experience, however, is more than just “giving up”. It is a complete system overwhelm and rooted in unhealthy environments that support patterns of overwhelming stress, secondary trauma, and inadequate care. A person cannot just decide to start caring again. And, in fact, to attempt to, will likely only serve to perpetuate the misalignment. Instead, a deep healing reset is needed and a new plan for structural change.
Brainspotting, faith aligned hypnosis, and music listening protocols, combined with coaching, are excellent for addressing this unique kind of exhaustion with focused nervous system healing and a clear plan for ongoing renewal.
Relationships are foundational to church work and often cause a great amount of grief and stress in the context of ministry. With a master’s degree in relationships and hundreds of hours as a therapist, helping couples and families to heal, I love to use this expertise in connection with my trauma training to help ministry professionals foster healthier environments for church families.
One of the ways churches thrive is through the health of their pastors’ relationships and marriages. I have created Re-story Retreats for Ministry couples, as an intensive option for nurturing hope and joy in pastoral marriages. These provide a more cost efficient and focused way to prioritize ministry marriages and can be combined with a fun vacation for rest and renewal.

How I Help

For those caring for church leaders and congregation members, whether pastorally or in a coaching, counseling, or mentoring relationship. If you are feeling stuck, unable to move past an invisible barrier with a client or suspect there may be a deeper issue at play, as you seek to serve a congregation member, I am here to help trouble shoot, walk alongside, pray with you, and share the experience that I have gained through helping hundreds of clients to get unstuck and move forward. Book hourly, flexible support, whenever you need a confidential consult to help you get unstuck as you are considering how to help the people you serve.
Nervous system support for coaches, pastors and therapists. I offer stand alone Brainspotting sessions, Rest & Restore Listening Protocol, and Flexible nervous system coaching packages for professionals who hold space for others and sometimes need someone to do the same for them.
I’m also available, depending on issue and need to provide these same services for your clients/congregation members, as they are under your care, to deepen your work with them and accelerate their progress. Please let me know whether you are interested in services for yourself or for a client, either via email or a free discernment call.
Trauma Restorying Intensives are an investment worth making, if you have been stuck, know that you are ready for targeted and personalized help, and want to experience accelerated progress and lasting change in your personal growth journey. If you know you are ready for your next chapter and would rather accomplish, in a few focused days what would normally take months or years to achieve, I am here for you.
I offer 1, 2, and 3 day, therapy intensives (in person, in Chicago), for couples in ministry and for individuals seeking deep and grounded re-storying work.
These are premium, private pay services and not eligible for insurance reimbursement, but often ultimately more cost efficient than traditional therapy alone. If you are curious, check out my Trauma Restorying Intensives page and consider booking a free discernment call to further explore the possibility.