Time to get back on the same page again.

Relationship Restorying.

Online retreats for ministry couples who are ready to move forward together.

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You never expected to be here—or, at least, to feel this way.

  • disconnection and loneliness; from each other and/or from others.

  • communication; it used to be so easy to connect but now every conversation seems like a struggle and it is rare that you just enjoy each other’s company.

  • family struggles; kids that are questioning their faith, parents that are needing more care, health issues that are exhausting your resources

  • vocational uncertainty; feeling like you aren’t sure this church or any church is the best fit anymore.

  • faith confusions; unsettledness due to religious trauma or spiritual abuse, difficult relationships on staff or with church members, or just the unrest in the world at large may have left you questioning and uncertain. Or maybe you just feel on a different page than your spouse about various beliefs and not sure how to address that.

  • financial instability—you always thought it didn’t matter how much the church could pay you and now, it just seems much harder than you ever expected.

Maybe you’re struggling with…

I want you to know that you’re not alone. Marriage, even in the most supportive of environments and with the best partner in the world, is no easy task. But in the context of ministry it is close to impossible. And, unfortunately, too many ministry couples struggle in silence, not knowing who they could possibly trust or where they might find the time to get the help they need. And the extra hard thing is that most ministry couples have a deep commitment to staying together, no matter what the cost. So, we carry on, quietly miserable, just hoping we can hold on until something changes.

And of course, this makes ministry much harder. And sad too, as most ministry couples plan on ministry together, in partnership with one another. What should be a wonderful opportunity for togetherness and support becomes a compounding stressor in the overall struggle of life.

That’s why I’ve created Relationship Re-storying Retreats, to help you to get back on the same page and begin to write your next chapter of life and ministry together again.

You’re ready for something to change.

Here’s what we’ll do together.

Relationship Re-storying will help you to realign your vision, reset your patterns, and remember your true story together.

We will set aside time over the course of two days to really dive into learning new and life giving patterns of relating to one another. I will bring all of my advanced training in relationship healing, along with hundreds of hours coaching couples towards deeper connections and more fun together.

We will look at the story that you have been telling, what has been keeping you stuck and how you might want to change that story for the future.

I’ll teach you methods of communication and strategies that will help with listening to one another and lowering defenses.

There will be pre-retreat work that I’ll ask you to do in preparation for making the most of our time together and I’ll give you my whole attention (including prayers) during our time together, that you might feel supported by someone who has walked this difficult path, is still on the path and is cheering for your marriage to stand strong.

Imagine a life where you…

  • Are able to set clear boundaries that everyone from church respects so that you can spend quality time together as a family.

  • Feel confident and aligned with your vision for your life together.

  • Know that you will have difficult conversations and disagree on things but that it will be okay and you will know how to work through it with respect and love.

  • Hope in the future and are interested to see what God might do.

  • Experience creative possibilities and don’t feel bound by how it has always been done; where you feel like you can explore new ways forward that honor your unique partnership as a couple.

HOW DOES IT WORK

What does a Relationship Restory Retreat Include?

Pre Retreat Interview

A 90 minute appointment, prior to the scheduled retreat for the purpose of getting to know each other and setting clear goals for what you’d like to accomplish during the retreat.

Customized workbook

A comprehensive workbook that will serve the dual purpose of informing our work together (helping me to customize your retreat to match your unique desires and goals) and provide a beautiful record for you of where you have been, where you are heading, and the progress you’ve made together.

Personalized Retreat

Two or Three days (3 hours each day) of therapy, personalized to your goals and personalities as a couple. We will consider the story you have been telling, where it has gotten stuck and engage in a combination of activities and conversation that will get you back on the same page again and help you to begin to write your next chapter together.

Post Retreat Follow-up

A 90 minute appointment, after the hard work, to reflect on how your story has shifted, what you’d like to continue working on together, and to create a plan for your ongoing growth as a couple.

Relationship Restorying Retreats can help ministry couples with:

  • Trauma

  • Ministry Burnout

  • Stuck Relationship patterns

  • Ministry Transitions

  • Life transitions (kids, parents, church…)

  • Disillusionment

  • Disconnection

  • Intimacy

Options & Investment

Your marriage is precious and important, not only to you, but to the church as well. If finances are an issue, please consider bravely asking your church or your denomination to invest in care for your marriage (not necessarily because anything is deeply wrong but because protecting and nurturing what is good is part of what we do, as the Church).

    • 8 hours together with coach

    • Comprehensive pre-retreat workbook to provide valuable self/ couple reflection with Coach review.

    • 90 minute - 2 hour Pre-intensive interview in which we get to know each other and set goals for our work together.

    • Two 3 hour coaching days

    • Comprehensive email follow up review

    • Access to SSP or RRP (music listening protocols) for nervous system rewiring toward new patterns of interaction and greater calm.

    • Voxer or email support available for 1 month post-intensive.

    Investment: $3600

    • 11 hours together with coach

    • Comprehensive pre-intensive workbook to provide valuable self/ couple reflection and coach review.

    • 90 minute - 2 hour Pre-retreat interview in which we get to know each other and set goals for our work together.

    • Three 3 hour coaching days

    • Comprehensive email follow up review.

    • Access to SSP or RRP listening protocols for nervous system rewiring towards new patterns of interaction and greater calm.

    • Voxer or email support for one month post intensive.

    Investment: $4500

FAQs

Frequently asked questions

  • Relationship Re-storying Retreats are great for couples who have a couple days to set aside to fully devote to their marriage.

    Couples need to be present in the state of Illinois at the time of their therapy retreat and have the option (if out of state) to travel to Chicago for a fun and intentional get away.

    Some couples may choose to budget for a yearly retreat like this, to set aside time to prioritize togetherness and consider your relationship’s needs for the year to come.

    This is for ministry couples who are committed to staying together and are not in intense relational distress.

  • Couples who are violent with one another, emotionally or physically, or who are spiritually manipulative with one another need a higher level of care and are not good candidates for a Relationship Re-storying Retreat.

    Also, couples who are just one difficult conversation away from divorce are not suitable for this kind of a retreat.

    If the above describe you and your spouse, please seek guidance from an impartial person of strong faith who is deeply trustworthy. You are each valuable and made in the image of God and will need intentional and specialized care to help you heal.

    If you ever feel that you are in danger, please contact 911 or the emergency number for your country.

  • As a licensed marriage and family therapist, my masters degree laid a strong foundation in family systems theory and hundreds of practice hours were devoted solely to working with couples. To that foundation, I have added advanced training in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy and The Developmental Model of Couples Therapy along with many certifications in the treatment of trauma (which is a key stressor in many marriages).

  • No. Results are dependent on couple dynamics and openness to change.

    Couples that are truly wanting to grow closer together typically find the format of a retreat to be a much more accelerated way to make progress on their relationship than weekly therapy. We will be targeted and focused, not distracted by the problems of the week that often stand in the way of real change in more a traditional therapy context.

  • Neither couples work nor the intensive format is covered by insurance. Insurance requires a medical diagnosis for coverage and relational issues do not qualify.

    If finances are an issue, as they often are for ministry families, you may want to consider asking either your church leadership or denomination whether there may be funding available for the mental/emotional health care of pastor’s families. Churches often have money set aside for this purpose and want to help when they can. If they do not, this may be a good way of gently reminding them of the vital importance of the health of their pastor and his family.

  • All retreats are available online, as long as client is in the state of Illinois at the time of service. In person retreats are planned on a case by case basis and depend on a variety of factors, including available venue and proximity to therapist. [Chicago can be a fun place to explore and set aside time for your relationship.] Often, couples like to increase the retreat feel by booking a bed and breakfast or staying at a family vacation home to truly get away. In these cases, we can meet via telehealth in the morning for our retreat hours and then couples can have the rest of the day to enjoy their chosen location, allowing time and space for deeper connection to develop.

Get in touch

Change is possible.

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Step into your next chapter together.

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Step into your next chapter together. —